Whether you’re in transition or not, the concept of controllable versus non-controllable and desires versus goals is key to your success. When people are frustrated more than likely what they’re doing is focusing on what’s not controllable versus what’s controllable. Here’s a simple example; I can control the phone calls I make. The number of calls, the frequency of follow-up, the message I deliver, and the attitude I convey, but I can’t control somebody calling me back, I can only influence them. If we would learn to focus this way, we would be much more successful and much less frustrated. I think we can all agree that frustration is a pretty useless emotion.
So the first thing we work on with our clients in transition is to start defining what controllable and uncontrollable is by the use of very definitive examples like making phone calls and receiving phone calls, asking somebody to expand your network and having them deliver a name. We need to stay focused on what we can control and not on what we can only influence. This applies to transition and everything else whether it’s business or personal.
Now let’s add goals versus desires. When someone begins their transition we talk about goals that we can control versus desires, which we can only influence, and are not controllable. How does that translate into transition? We focus on four things which are controllable. First, the number of hours you dedicate each week to the search. Second, the number of calls you make each week which does not include those you receive. Third, asking for people to expand your network and not necessarily receiving a name, you can’t control that and finally, getting out pieces of paper which translates into resumes and cover letters to recruiters and employers for specific openings. This also includes direct marketing letters to organizations you may have an interest in working with.
If something is a desire, it can always be broken down into specific controllable goals that will get you there. It can apply to anything business or personal. Try it on and see if it fits.